AlbumsI Make My Own Rules (2005)
Winning my 6th grade spelling bee
Participating in my 7th grade spelling bee
Hitting one triple and stealing one base in 10+ years of organized baseball
Bowling a 260-something one time
Graduating college with a thoroughly mediocre GPA after five years of slacking off
Catching four home runs in one Phillies/Marlins batting practice in 2004
Beating level 9-5 on Tetris six times in one night
Getting fired from a Taco Bell (how is that even possible)
Reading the majority of the Goosebumps books
Doing lots of crossword puzzles half way and then giving up
Being named the fourth funniest person in Philadelphia (population: 1.4 million*)
Playing 30 seasons of Madden 2006 after I had shoulder surgery and couldn't do anything else. My team was eventually shut down because we lost billions of dollars after I lowered ticket prices and spent a shitload on virtual goalposts, but we won a lot of games
Rooting for the evil green knight at Medieval Times even though I was clearly in the red knight's section and was given a red knight hat
Meeting former president Bill Clinton when I was nine
Winning student council secretary in seventh grade (didn't know this was a female position until it was too late)
*population statistics based on 2005 census results, funniness rating based on a comedy contest
Also, I am a former Omniana World Champion. Here's a video of me defending my title.
Who I'd like to meet:Ty Cobb. Slash. Dominique Wilkins. Kevin Spacey. Chris Rock. Millard Filmore, only so I could be like, "you were president? No *shit*?", That guy who played J.T. on Step by Step. Harriet Tubman (why the F not). George Foreman. A caveman. A pirate. Stone Cold Steve Austin. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Jack Nicholson. Probably other people. And, of course, you.
- Status: Single
- Orientation: Straight
- Zodiac Sign: Taurus
- Children: Someday
- Smoke / Drink: No / No
- Education: College graduate
GeneralStand-up comedy, sports, and hanging out with friends. Three interests should be quite sufficient.
MusicGuns N' Roses, Aerosmith, Metallica, AC/DC, Billy Joel, Green Day, Jay-Z, Velvet Revolver, Ludacris, Journey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kanye West, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, 2Pac. I don't listen to much music, but I can generally agree on any kind of rock (with the exception of the Rolling Stones, who I have an irrational hatred of).
MoviesDIE HARD. Any of Kevin Spacey's Big Five (Negotiator, Se7en, Usual Suspects, L.A. Confidential, American Beauty) before he started appearing in gay-ass movies that had a message. Good Will Hunting. DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE. A Few Good Men. Jerry Maguire. Independence Day. Toy Story. As Good As It Gets. Wedding Crashers. Major League. White Men Can't Jump. The Mighty Ducks (not that weak sequel shit - GIVE ME AVERMAN OR GIVE ME DEATH). Pretty much every Denzel movie I've ever seen except John Q.
BooksHahaha. Yeah. Right. (EDITOR'S NOTE: I am not illiterate, I just don't have nearly enough free time to read. Don't get it twisted.)
2001 to 2006
- Glassboro,New Jersey
- Graduated: 2006
- Degree: Bachelor's Degree
- Major: Business Management
1998 to 2001
- Audubon,New Jersey
- Graduated: 2001
- Student status: Alumni
- Degree: High School Diploma